Diary Of An Anorexic

I cannot take even one bite
My inner strength will win this fight
I long to be skinny like the other girls
Happy and beautiful with blonde curls

I haven’t eaten anything for weeks
I exercise frequently and I can’t get to sleep
Just five more kilos I tell myself
Don’t care how all this affects my health

I look in the mirror and what do I see?
An ugly, fat girl staring back at me
I run out of the house, my eyes full of tears
This monster inside me has been here for years

I’m losing weight, but it still isn’t enough
I have to be skinny, I want to be loved
I’ve run around the block a few times already
I have to stop to keep my breathing steady

Mum’s really worried, I don’t know why
Sometimes I feel like I want to die
I’ve been to different doctors, they are all the same
They say I’ve got a mental illness, like I’m insane

What’s so wrong with wanting to fit in?
All I desperately want is to be thin
Lying in bed, feeling weak, I can hardly breathe
I suddenly realise, food is what I need

I didn’t realise it until now
I need help, I just don’t know how
The doctors tell me I’m anorexic
Inside, I feel so pathetic

I’ve been sent to live with other girls like me
It’s supposed to be helpful for my recovery
All the girls here are so thin and their bones you can see
I look in the mirror in horror, they look like...me

I’m still scared of eating any food
So the nurses feed me with a tube
It has no taste as it slides down my throat
I’m starting to freeze, so I pull on a coat

I’m gaining weight, on the road back to health
I can’t believe I did all these things to myself